Chav-Goths, King Kong and One Fat Arse...

Mum's just told Bird that some drunk guy (a chav/goth from the house opposite ours) has just pissed all over the road and is now attempting to park a car while blasting R+B. I think Mum is quite ready to punch him, her excuse is 'the kids could have been out there', though I do agree 'he is going to crash into something in a minute'. His car looks a bit like the really loud one that we see on the way to school with tinted windows (drug dealer much?).

Bird's wearing a Swedish army top and I think I've decided to go for a 'tough girl' look- I'm in a copying mood today. Speaking of new looks, I have just learned how to use bobby-pins properly and am planning to have an up-do-athon over the holidays so I'm ready to go back to school with cool hair.

Olympia (my twin) has just promised to write a formal apology to Bird if it turns out that Jack Black is in Peter Jackson's King Kong- although, if he's anything like Mum, he may mean Jack White or various other actors. Now that I come to think about it, though, I think Jack Black does give a chocolate to a scary-looking naked kid in King Kong. Why she refuses chocolate I've no idea. Come on, Peter, she's a girl!


Note to self: If I'm going to be a 'tough army girl' I'm going to need new combats because the old ones don't fit my fat arse!!!

I'm still wondering whether having a fat arse makes me pear-shaped or just adds to my hour-glass figure; my bum is bigger than my tits but not by much! I really annoyed now...I look short enough as it is.

Google has just informed us that Jack Black was in King Kong so Olympia is going to have to sign her apology! I'm going to have to remind her of this later;if she ever gets pissy this might break the mood/enrage the killer with...not really sure which.

I beginning to wonder where drunken-chav-goth is, and if he's crashed yet. Either way, I hope his music cuts out. Turns out that he and his mates are back in their house now, thank God - they can pee in there all they like.

I'm going to have to remember to avoid the wet patch in the road until I can forget about the wee as I might get a bit neurotic and begin to sniff my shoes and trouser legs for any faint whiffs of chav urine (surpassed only by the smell of my Dad's dog -Murphy-'s blocked bum glands in stinky-ness).

I must try to use 'repugnant' more often - great word:
"A Chav-Goth pissing on the road is simply repugnant!!" <----Brilliant!

Another note to self: Mars Attacks = Scary! There must be something wrong with me if a comedy freaks me out, I'm sure Scooby (my other sister doing an A-level in Physcology) could tell me why.

I really like this whole diary thing...
It makes me sound like Liz Parker from Roswell, minus the whole 'lovey-dovey-alien' stuff; I don't think 'd be adverse to a romance with alien Max Evans though...maybe Antarians like big arses!


I'm starting to feel a bit bad about eating a chocolate spread sandwich as it certainly isn't helping the fat arse situation and now everyone's going to know that it was me that finished the 'Nut-City' (available at any good Lidl)

Tastes good though!